A Rivers Buffet

I can understand how some people develop reservations on buffets. The warming food sits out in the open, easy enough for fiddling patron to touch the food or God forbid, sneeze into the soup. A few friends have told me about their disdain for the feed lot mentality of, according to them, “overweight, fugly people shoving reconstituted Cosco products into their gullet.” Though not far off, a good buffet can be found, even for a despicable and picky foodie like myself.

Last May I spent five days in Las Vegas for my friend Stevie’s wedding. Ally and I decided to take the bull by the horns and invest our hard earned money into restaurant experiences. Our appetites were satisfied with grandiose, rich breakfast food at Hash House-A-Go-Go. We had what was in the medal standings of mind blowing restaurants with auteur chef Thomas Keller’s Bouchon in the Venetian. We as well deliberately planned out a few nights to pay lip service to rumors of excellence at the famed buffets at the resort casinos of the Bellagio, Wynn, amongst others. In Fremont Street, which is a controlled microcosm of a dirty, neon, and caddy old Vegas had signs advertising “All you can eat Prime Rib - $7.99.” They are decent reminders that in even in a quantity arrangement of food, excellence should cost a bit more.

With those experiences in our bank, Ally and I decided to visit the Canopy buffet at the River’s Casino in Des Plaines. The compressed but organized casino has been, forgive me for the pun, raking in chips from gullible gamblers each and every weekend. Aside from the bear necessities of safety, health and happiness, people can do whatever they wish with their money. A colleague of mine at Harper College considers gambling “a fool’s game.” With all my amateur shortsighted abilities of playing poker and blackjack, I am inclined to believe what another friend said about casinos. “Rich people don’t visit casinos. They have an organized system in the stock market that has more guaranteed payback with dividends and payouts. Poor people and struggling middle class are the common patrons of casinos, chasing their American Dream.” The house always wins, doesn’t it? Back in 2002 I knew of a fellow student that had a hard core gambling addiction, which sprouted up as a way to risk developing a larger college savings. Though I do feel a fair amount spend under $100 dollars, what of those you and I know have cemented their jeans to the elevated leather chairs of slots and tables, eyes fixed on gambling their savings away. Usually I toss in about five to ten bucks, which the opposite of gambling to win cash – that is a true Ponzi scheme for me. As per usual, I will win a little and then the house will take it all. Last night, Ally and I proudly walked back to our cars, knowing that the modern casino is full of attractions amongst the bevy of lights and sound from machines and patrons, enough to give an epileptic a seizure. 

 The wavering line to enter the Canopy Buffet held either a reputation of promise or simply another feed lot. Casinos often host companies, conventions or one-day events – Rivers last night was not an exception. A random woman was kind enough to hand us a free buffet coupon, slicing in half that 26 dollar cost for each of our buffets. The décor within the Canopy has a ‘green’ forested feel with slits of distressed wood on the ceiling and wall. The lamps are see-through Chinese lanterns with a paper Mache exterior that to me reminded me of the most artistic and glossy spider web I’ve ever seen.  Once seated, we knew the routine, propping ourselves back up to grab a plate. 

The Canopy Buffet at Rivers, like most casinos, has their food assembled at the back of the rooms in extremely long assemblies of stainless steel counters. There are close to twenty foot sections set to certain ethnic or aesthetic culinary styles from seafood to Chinese to southern American savory. We made a bee line for the sliced prime rib with sides of beef broth and a diluted horseradish sauce. I personally loved the succulent pieces of medium cooked beef and those spice covered edges that were charred just right. The chefs and servers behind the counter are at least on their game as they will only serve acceptable food and butcher sliced varieties of Indian spiced mini-lamb chops and sections of prime rib that they cut away and likely sit on the plate after a round of eating anyway. My personal favorite on the line was a rich shrimp and grits. Though the shrimp could have been rubbed and sautéed instead of being just given a slight sear and tossed, the flavors within delighted us – there was a mystery cheddar melted into that mix we couldn’t put our finger on. Trust me, there were disappointing selections as well from the all too simple salad bar to the over-salted and blackened twigs of asparagus.

Wanting to release a notch in our belt from two plates of samples, Ally and I decided we had a crevice left of space in our bellies for dessert. I obtained a small slice of strawberry and white chocolate mousse and Ally obtained a slice of white chocolate cheesecake. Ally felt the apple gelato, reminiscent of a granny smith, “was a perfect complement to the “good God” flavors in the cheesecake. I think Rivers excels quite well in their variety of dessert and flavors within.

Overall, I’d place Rivers Canopy Buffet a few notches below the excellence within Las Vegas’ Wynn and Bellagio and well above those crap-tastic “all you can eat prime rib meals.”Just take my advice and never eat uncooked shellfish at a buffet. I had suppress my dark schadenfreude feelings when I saw dozens clamoring for those little sea creatures, fully aware, unlike them, of the Kracken that would ravage their bellies three hours later. You’d laugh too, don’t deny that.