Bad ethnic food that pisses us off

For all intents and purposes I feel it would be fair to generalize this one time and say that many of us have an ethnic food, outside our own backgrounds, that we call our favorites. Every semester I tell my students to branch out of their pigeonholed suburban cultures and involve themselves into a restaurant they wouldn’t normally find themselves sitting down at. My forefinger held out, I scold them when I say “If you journey to a place such as New Orleans, and you eat at Burger King instead of having a Po Boy or crawfish, shame on you!” Instruction is a much more livable profession if you have a healthy dose of sarcasm. 

So I ask you all, what ethnic food pisses you off? What restaurant, small business or pre-packaged corporate chain, have to been to that has ruined, for example, simple tacos or regular ole’ American food? For me, I am reaching into half of my heritage on this one and calling out all fake, glitz and glamor Italian restaurants. That’s right, you – with your Mario Bros cliché names and your lazy-ass need to soak a bleached pound of fettuccine in enough white sauce to reduce five years off of a life. I have somewhat of a similar feeling to Anglo-Irish foods, but nothing replaces my contempt for anything from the McDonalds of Italian food, the Olive Garden. They are one Roberto Bennini as a waiter cliché away from…well, let’s not get too cruel. Buca di Beppo is not much better. If you only knew that most Europeans do not gorge themselves like we do, myself being guilty of this as well from time to time. These aforementioned places fall into the line of European ethnic chains that buy from warehouses full of items for their décor that most American’s think are unique to Italy. Many Irish pubs that are set-up around the world get bar designs and items from a group called the Irish Pub Company. 

What is ethnically true? What is accurate to actual palates of most Italians, Mexicans, or whoever? Ethnic trueness is known by those who are either from that long standing heritage or have immersed themselves into the profession of cooking. These ethnic plates are likely filled with items that most American’s couldn’t stomach eating such as full Spanish prawns (the spicy juice comes out when you suck the head) or perhaps a deceptively simple dish of well-prepared prosciutto and garlic rubbed toasted bread. I use the rule of thumb similar to purchasing any item– if the food and ‘cultural experience’ advertises itself as too good to be true, chances are you wind up with a sack of a pre-packaged meal that cannot be altered. 

This new chain of Tilted Kilt restaurants is plainly in the same vein of full on mental instability. The commercial on T.V of three bombshell waitresses that are barely clad in kilts and bras delivering beer to three guys who look like they are going to bust a nut at the table for probably seeing boobs for the first time is pathetic. Honestly, all kidding aside, these highly pre-packaged, highly salted chain restaurant meals are fueling a diabetes, heart disease and obesity increase that is and has been killing America. Worst of all, they are destroying any sort of confidence and comfort one can have at establishing a local, small-business restaurant, no matter the cultural origin.  One of the most depressing sights in my mind is driving along a long avenue and seeing the endless neon signs of fast food and ethnically backwards chain restaurants. 

If you like to stop by these places for a family meal or drinks with friends, enjoy yourself. Just know that your business is fueling a cliché. Good lord, I am beginning to sound like a cranky socio-political nut; time to leave it to you. For my two cents – save your denaros and search for that place that actually gives a damn what they are serving you.