When a
circle of friends retains an inside joke it is because the sheer hilarity of
the original circumstance holds so much comedic weight that the joke’s replay
value is seemingly endless whilst consistent in alienating outsiders. This is
true with the idea of the Fat Fest. Nick and I once considered visits to
high-end all you can eat restaurants as gluttonous journeys into a culinary
netherworld. “Getting Fat!” or “Fast Fest – insert version” has become a brand
name when we and a few choice others knowingly submit our digestive system to a
once in a blue moon treasured occasion of imbibing copious amounts of steak and
pasta. Whilst the results the very next day might leave you sectioning spare
time for the lavatory, the secret of Fat Fest is that you know the saturated fat journey was
worth the price and endless plates.
One such
place that imbibes this Fat Fest mantra is Flat-Top Grill. With the majority of their locations in the
upper Midwest, the multiple Southeast Asian themed create-your-own stir-fry
restaurants pull you to their front windows like Ralphie at the department
store window in A Christmas Story. Just beyond the window, tireless line cooks
fry up your order on an extra large rectangular flat-top that emanate steam
like a sauna. They flip bowls and delicious roti bread as if they are trying to
replicate scenes from Cocktail. Don’t pat yourselves too much on the back with
your stir-fry creation for cooking it to perfection is the line cook’s job over
a thousand times a day.
Once you sit
down, you and others will take a numbered stick and write your names on them.
These sticks will be placed into your bowl which you will proceed to load up
with rice, noodles, vegetables, sauces and meats. The true pleasure comes in
the variety of mix and match opportunities with the sixteen odd vegetables and
sauces. If you are lost on what to choose, you can take in a sample in a
disposable paper cup or get a helping hand from the Flat-Top employee who knows
what flavors blend to your tastes. Since I chose to go with the unlimited bowl
for $14.99, I first chose a combination of teriyaki and a creamy horseradish
tofu sauce. At night the meat station holds beef, pork, chicken, calamari,
whitefish and Philippine sausage. I’d stay away from shellfish at a buffet,
considering the time it would sit out and the sloppiness of fellow patrons
turning the stations into a mess reminiscent of a Jackson Pollock painting.
Once all
combined in a bowl, with the smaller added bowl of meats on top, you place your
order on the prep counter near the flat top. Flat-Top can be overrun,
especially like at the one Ally and I sat at in downtown Evanston where
Northwestern students didn’t sniff at the opportunity to gorge themselves at a
decent price. Flat-Top is also quite conscious of service and accommodating
various food allergies, a concern likely as well from their legal department.
Behind the long buffet set up is a floor to ceiling chalkboard listing what not
to eat if you have certain allergies that a few ten year kids I saw understood
what not to mix and match if you don’t want to bust out the EpiPen.
Another
great feature is that if you get the unlimited bowl and cannot leave behind
what you stomach is saying to stop shoving into it, they will only charge you
$2.50 more to take home the remainders. My suggestion is to create a heaping
bowl with all the fix-ins and then fake being full after a few bites, thus
having multitudes of fat fest deliciousness waiting for you at tomorrow’s
lunch. Considering the price and the accommodating atmosphere, Flat-Top Grill
cannot be passed up, especially if you pass by their front window with a
rumbling tummy.
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